Opportunism
My acquaintance is actually exactly
opposite from the prompt, in a sense that while being patient and “good things
come out to those who wait” is the virtue, my experience had me to engage and
initiate to not become an opportunist.
I meet people
through the church I actively attend. Because our church is a big campus-focused
church, all members are divided into smaller groups called “small groups”. Each
group meets every week at a person’s apartment where the leader kindly prepares
dinner and serves each member who attend that night for a bible study. Because small
groups meet on weekly basis, using paper plates are not environmentally friendly,
so our leader had purchased tens of dishes and silverwares for the group.
Here is
what happens nearly every time we finish our food. People linger around the
table and talk to each other about how they have been, instead of walking to
the sink to drop their dishes. If someone initiates to collect all the dishes
and put them away to the sink, the dirty dishes lye on the sink, waiting to be
cleaned. As there is only one sink, and the space is limited, one person has to
volunteer to wash them. Otherwise, our leader stays after the bible study to
clean them, or the host has to clean on his or her own, which is definitely not
desirable,
I will have
to say, I do not like washing dishes, especially when I know there are twenty-some
plates and tons of silverwares. I hate when I cannot control the water, and
have it splash all over my clothes and have to endure the damp clothes
throughout the stay (1.5 to 2 hours). However, at the same time, I know I just
had a free dinner and I am extremely thankful that the host willingly provides a
space for the group for the weekly bible study. I also do not want folks much
older than me (senior in college) to do dishes for a group mostly consist of lowerclassman in college, since I know they have been in the group for longer period
of time and have already washed dishes many times in the past. Therefore, I
walk to the sink and start the dishes.
In a
situation like this, I could have not volunteered to do the dishes and
pretended that it is none of my business and take the opportunity to take rest
and chill. I could have stayed where I was and start a conversation so that I
do not have to put my dishes away or look toward the person washing dishes.
However, I almost always feel sorry for not being the “good citizen”. I like
the group I belong to and I have been in the group for around three years. I
know the leader is already contributing a lot for the members and I acknowledge
that such act is one of the few ways I can give back to the group.
While I do get
appreciation from others for doing the dishes, which makes me feel good and
cared, at the same time, I still feel unfair that those who enjoy “opportunism”
and hope that they can one day do or at least feel what I have done. In other
words, although I am being the good citizen of the group by providing the chore
service, the fact that I regard this experience as an example of the prompt, I
have that “Why me?” mentality consciously floating in mind.
I would be interested in learning about the gender breakdown in your small group. My sense is that for this particular task male students would be more prone to shirk than female students. Further, the way you told the story, this is the only task that some member of the group has to do which is unpleasant. Are there really no other activities involved in sustaining the group? Are there any interactions online, for example?
ReplyDeleteMy other question is whether this translates to other settings or is unique to this particular situation. For example, have you taken a course where you had to complete a group project? In that setting, did some of the team members shirk? And did one team member have to put together the contributions of the other members into a coherent whole? If so, were you that person?
I have kind of the opposite preference as you do about washing dishes. When I was in high school, my school was on split session because the school was so crowded with students. In 10th grade I was on the late session, which started near noon. As a result, it became my job at home to wash the dinner dishes from the night before. What I liked about doing this is that I didn't have to pay careful attention to the task. So I could have my mind wander and daydream while I was washing the dishes. The daydreaming was something I enjoyed. Nowadays we have a dishwasher, but I still enjoy washing some of the dishes.
There are many more female members compared to male members. Also, there are other activities throughout the week, but those merely requires participation only. However, outside of the group, I do receive multiple helps from various members, such as getting a ride, moving, and counseling.
DeleteI definitely had the experience, where I saw a group member within a course project shrink or unable to get in touch with, which is the main reason why I try to avoid taking classes with grades depending greatly on group projects. I was lucky that only one or two out of four did that, so I was not the only one doing all the work, but the experience have definitely been an unpleasant one.